My Parents Goodbye’s

 

Father

It was a surprise attack

No, it was a sneak attack

Damn those heart attacks

I never said goodbye

 

I was a teenager

Father was a salesman

His last day he worried about the numbers

The next day he was and worried no more

I never said goodbye

 

I remember him in bits and pieces

Like a box of popcorn

The only memories are the bits and pieces left on your shirt

I never said goodbye

 

Mother

Her way to exit

Was no surprise attack

Cancer

Cancer, like a cat, plays with you

The game had several rounds

Lasted years

 

We said goodbye

In that final hour I stroked her leg

I felt like a seven year old

Holding on to her dress

Don’t lose me Mom

We said goodbye

 

Father and Mother

Mother’s long goodbye

Father’s quick exit

I realize now

Life is one long goodbye

Final words

Are in the living

 

____________

Weddings*

She danced

Holding her dress

💓

He danced

Holding her heart

💓

Weddings

A moment

A celebration

A birth

A birth of joy

💓

The young

Alcohol excited their exuberance

💓

The old

Alcohol excites their memories

💓

The band plays on

Playing songs that vibrate a chord

A chord in us all

The chord that all is precious

Laughter and tears

Are heard between sets

💓

Weddings are a precious gift

Between life’s sets

💓

*Dedicated to Mandy and Brian

Friend

Friend

At times

Most times

I long

To be alone

At times

Most times

I’m insulted

By a knock on the door

At times

Some times

I enjoy

The company of friends

But understand this

All times

Every day

I crave my solitude

The clock and I

Have a relationship

We do not like to share

Time is a very jealous friend

Being alone is time absorbed

Absorbed alone with my universe

It’s how I share this galaxy

So say it again

And again

At times

Most times

I long

To be alone

To be alone

Is the sum

Of me

Of me

Missing you

A Reason for the Season

A Reason for the Season

The holiday season is unique

Lively living with lights and laughter

Much to do about giving and love

I must add for me it’s a banquet of life

A celebration of family and friends

Even strangers become a delight

Memories are also part of this meal

Favorite gifts are ones not bought

Childhood thoughts are like dessert

sweet and sprinkled with melancholy

Things are missed this time of year

Wishing lost loved ones where once again here

Also missed is someone once held dear

Someone I talked to through out the year

For you see this season there is no Christ

Only stories and fables created by a few

He can not hear those sitting in a pew

We alone create this season of love

This helps me understand

A reason for the season

So be of good cheer

It’s amazing what stardust has made

In billions of years

Oma

Oma

My grandmother died of pneumonia.

In nineteen fifty three

I was seven

I hardly remember her.

So long ago

yet

I still feel her love.

Going Down

Going down

A little boy in a little house

Surrounded by big hearts in a big city

Bed time

So he grabbed Grover

With Grover under one arm and a book under the other

He announced “we’re going down”

Down to the bedroom

Down to a world of sleep

Between the real and unreal

From the known to unknown

To go to sleep requires a brave heart

You need a friend for the journey

You need a good story before the trip

Reduction sauce

Reduction Sauce

Standing in the kitchen.

watching

Cradling a glass of merlot.

watching

Her hands, stirring, the reduction sauce.

She stirs,

I am reduced in thought.

Thoughts of those hands.

Holding children.

Holding me.

Those hands have held my head in tears.

In love.

watching.

Those hands have shaped me.

I am the sauce.

reduced to awe.

elated to be in her vessel.

The Choice of a nazi

My parents, Pieter and Ada Pastoor 1939

The Choice of a Nazi

 

My parents were Dutch,

now that by itself, doesn’t mean much.

They lived in Holland miles from the strand.

During the war, like many, they took a stand.

 

My parents hid Jews in that little house,

Jews that ate and were quiet as a mouse.

Nazis searching for Jews under all sorts of covers,

even hunted for those Jew lovers.

 

Can you imaging the fright by all,

as the Nazis marched by so tall.

Complete power and authority,

to put you out of misery

 

The Nazis knocked on their door one day,

took my father in a brutal way.

Mother and grandmother cried at the door,

one soldier said “go back to your whores”.

 

That one Nazi gave me a life.

Without his deed I would not have this strife.

This happened a year before I was born,

so now you understand why I’m so torn.

 

Is this this devil’s one kind deed,

or simply another horrible weed.

I ponder this young man’s thinking,

does he look from above winking.

 

Oh, that young soldier was not an idol,

my guess is he became suicidal.

The real heroes of that hour,

those two women who changed the act of power.

 

I’m not sure what they cried or did yell,

but whatever, it rung like a bell.

Maybe it was said with their eyes,

yes, it made one soldier see the lies.